Disturbing Thoughts.

Some things that really disturb me or leave me pondering:

People eating their meals alone,

People doing tedious jobs which are thankless and low-paying (the liftman, for example),

Small-time roadside vendors trying to sell their wares but hardly succeeding, (it’s actually the sight of seeing their forlorn and expectant faces while you cross their stalls/carts),

People walking barefoot on the roads,(they act as a reminder that while some of us don't think twice before buying shoes worth 2000 bucks, some consider shoes a luxury, not being able to spend their meagre funds on even a pair of chappals)

When someone’s persona is so defined by his uniform that when you see them out of uniform, you feel a sense of familiarity but cannot really place them. (Have you ever noticed the security guard at office when he’s not in uniform?? He might recognize you and smile or whatever, while you’re left trying to figure out where you’ve seen the guy before..)

There might be some more stuff too..but that’s all I could remember right now….

...Straight From the Heart..

Here’s a list of people who have influenced/ have been influencing my humdrum life in more ways than they know…

With the test of time and/or distance, some have faded into oblivion while some are as bright as before…It’s an assorted list so there’s no method or relevance attached to the order…

‘Mickey Mouse’:- My first crush….Hahaha…Now when I look back at those days, I wonder at my silliness. This guy used to live in the same colony as me and his house was on the way to the bus stand. I knew him long before I knew that I had a crush on him..
He was a few years my senior and his school bus would leave the stand about 5 minutes before I reached the stand. Sometimes, if I reached the stand a little earlier than usual, I would strain my eyes to find him among the array of students in a sea of Navy Blue and White.. And the day he stopped to smile at me or spoke a word or two of commonplace stuff, I’d be in the seventh heaven of delight – I’d rush home, wait for my brother to go for his daily dose of friends and Cricket, and then start scribbling all details in my diary. (I never dared to bring my diary within visual range of my (at that time) terrifying elder brother, who always threatened me about reading my diary – Hope he never did..) Anyway, this infatuation of mine persisted for quite some time and at that time I used to think that I’d never get over him. I guess all of us feel that way about our first crush.
And then one fine morning, while going to some relative’s house, I see that that house and its contents, people and furniture both, were moving out of our colony. On making some nonchalant enquiry, I found out that they were shifting to another colony in another locality. And so he shifted. After a few days, another family moved into that same house. Supposedly there was a girl of my age in that family. Unreasonably, without knowing her, I disliked her immensely. (Poor girl…it wasn’t her fault after all..)

'Tuki’:- Hmmm if you’re still feeling sorry for the girl I mentioned above, well she basically survived my initial prejudice, and now is a close friend of mine. How? That’s a mystery. We used to go the same tuition classes, and we clicked from the first day. I told her why I disliked her for no reason… she and I had a good laugh over it. The best part was, our tutor used to leave us free a lot of times, so we used to get a lot of time for idle chatter. It’s very easy talking to her; we come from very similar backgrounds. When it came to doing graduation after 12^th, we tried to somehow get through the same institute, but this girl from my college took the seat ‘Tuki’ was supposed to take.(Darn her!) However, time and distance never created a rift between the two of us – she even came down to my college for a short trip…The same thing happened when it came to jobs; The company she got selected in chose not to select me, while the company that selected me didn’t opt for her. It’s fortunate that we’re from the same region, state, city and colony even and eventually do meet up.

‘Anin’ :- This girl! She had taken my friend’s place while selecting Institutes for graduation. So, I obviously was not too happy with her. (Later, she told me once that she disliked me from college times itself – something to do with the attitudes of our entire gang of college friends).Nevertheless, since we were from the same college and going to the same institute, our parents decided to become friendly.
Coincidentally, when we were going for admission to the institute, we were in adjoining compartments in the train. While our parents talked and all, we mutually didn’t approach each other. However, when we reached the new city, the unfamiliar surroundings sort of made us talk to each other. We kept on cribbing about the place and felt homesick. This was the initial bond that joined us. With the start of classes, and the initial depression after the respective parents left, the bond strengthened what with the seniors commencing their ‘Fresher Initiation Program’ commonly known as ragging. She’s one of a kind, in her own world, not bothering about things like idle gossip. Boy! She loved to sleep, way back in 1^st year… she was (and still is) this treasure of reassurance and common sense. Although we’re in different places now, haven’t met in a year now, hardly ever keep contact through mail/phone, she remains special to me.

‘Ng’ :- This guy used to endlessly tease Anin in Group Get-togethers by saying he had a crush on her. Hahaha! All of us used to have a good laugh seeing her annoyed face when he unabashedly emoted about his feelings. I’ve known him properly for about 3 years now and well….he’s the one guy I can rely on to give an honest and frank opinion about anything I ask. Luckily he’s also working in the same city as I am and he’s helped me over the student to professional transition period. I blurt out all my endless complaints and problems in front of him, and sometimes even I don’t tell him if something is troubling me, he knows it and somehow manages to cheer me up. Basically he always puts a smile on my face..:)

‘Debo’ :- One of Ng’s closest friends, I got to know him somewhere during the beginning of the final year of Graduation. Now, we often look back and wonder wistfully as to why we never managed to come to anything close to acquaintance in the first 3 years of graduation. As he also comes from the same region as I, I met him on the train too, but neither of us found anything out of the ordinary in each other I guess. Different branches in colleges further allowed no contact. It is a fellow hostel mate that I need to thank for renewing my acquaintance with him which grew into the easy friendship that we have today. That hostel mate of mine used to chat with him frequently from my PC as hers had some problem. One day, he sent a message or something (… I don’t remember the exact circumstance), and she wasn’t in the hostel (or had gone home)..so I replied… we got to talking - from homesickness to movies to books to favourites to college to friends… - That’s how it started….

‘Poo’ :- She was also a fellow hostel mate. I talked to her on the 1^st day of class (during graduation) and that first chat brought on so many similarities….it was simply meant to be. She’s the same Sun sign as me, her hobbies are similar to mine, our attitudes were same, we just hit it off. Maybe I was so scared of losing the one person who seemed to understand me, that I never left her side. Or maybe it was the other way round, or maybe we just liked hanging out together. Five years of terrible fights, major misunderstandings, temper outbursts and although we’re not the same as we were five years ago, we still respect each other and try to stay in touch. Some past history might have changed how we are today, sometimes I wish that the ease of the early days come back, but then some changes are irreversible; and one needs to live with that.

‘Apra’:- Another girl who shares the same sun sign as me but we two are as different in some aspects as we are similar in some. Classmates since the 3^rd standard, we’ve shared a lot, experienced a lot, misunderstood a little, but at the end of it we share a common sense of belonging and understanding. Even now when we meet, maybe after a gap of a year, its like nothing has changed - there is no discomfort at all. We keep talking nineteen to the dozen, cribbing, complaining, laughing, consoling….assured that things are going to remain just the same if we meet up again after a day or after a year. Its amazing really, we hardly ever keep in touch; maybe only if we have some important work or one of us is traveling to the other’s city; and yet we feel so much at ease in each other’s company…

‘Ghoda’:- another guy who shares the same sun sign as Apra (and hence as me..:) . He’s the cutest….Tall, Dark, Handsome….always smiling.. playing his favourite upbeat tune on his mobile phone each time he felt a little down. Tirelessly hardworking, he and a couple of others shaped the look of our institute during cultural festivals. Like most of the others, we became friendly at the end of 3^rd year, but really got close in the final year. This guy, who got the title of Mr.Senti(mental), kept his emotions all closed up inside him, the day we were departing. While I was pouring out tears like an overflowing tap, he was the one who made me laugh …He never lost his cool and still doesn’t.. When it comes to keeping in touch , well he sometimes even calls from London..:) …Someday in the near future hopefully.. we’ll meet up..:)

‘Vikx’:- He’s one of the other guys, who along with Ghoda beautified the auditorium, etc. during ‘Culrav’ our annual festival. Brilliant in sketching, his art was(is) eye-catching and had(has) very much his singly unique style of grinning faces. He hated me in the 1^st year of graduation for some misguided reason which took another 2-3 years to finally become trifling enough to ignore. Moody in his typical Cancerian way, it was always a little dicey talking to him back then – you never knew how he’d react. Now, when he’s in a different city (Pune), learning a foreign language, his mood swings seem to have vanished, or maybe they aren’t so apparent from a distance. Anyway, I’m sure glad he got over whatever negative he felt about me and that has made all the difference..

‘Konka’:- She’s also currently in Pune, doing her MBA there. It’s been a friendship of about six years now, out of which we were in the same place for about two years, and the rest has been long distance. Erratically in touch, we’ve hardly met up in the last few years (when we were doing our graduation from separate institutes), and yet the initial years of feeling the same terror while going for tuition to the same brilliant (but a little strict) professor, have always bridged the rift created by distance. Occasional messages or mails keep reminding the both of us that the other still exists..:)J…

‘Mandy’:- He’s from a place called Akola which is close to Pune (I guess), and he’s the sweetest, yet the most impish guy I know..! He’s a colleague in office, and we joined in the same batch. I don’t precisely remember how we got to become so friendly; maybe there wasn’t any specific incident that brought us closer, but now, I’m happy to call him a very dear friend of mine. Sometimes he’s kiddish, sometimes he’s mature way beyond his 22 years of existence. He might always be teasing me, but when needed, he’s always there to help. No matter how hard he tries, he can never ACT serious (when he’s finding some situation exquisitely funny). A tiny movement lurks at the corners of his mouth; a half-smile just waiting to become a full fledged grin always gives him away.

‘Siddy’:- Unlike Mandy, he can always manage to act serious even if he’s brimming with laughter. In the process, he can discompose you, like when you start laughing at something which might be funny from one angle, he’ll start lecturing you on the lines,’ you’re laughing. This is not funny..’ even though he knows it is funny. Now that I know him better, I know when to take him seriously and when not to. Invariably frank, he can say almost anything at your face. He’s one person with whom I never need to make an effort to keep in touch coz he always make sure that he remains in contact with his friends. Despite his busy social schedule, he manages to make time for everybody. And, he’s a hardened flirt who starts up conversations with girls with the sympathetic line ‘had a hard day?’. Also, he’s merciless when it comes to teasing… but he’ll always make sure that the victim of his endless teasing isn’t feeling bad…

‘Pinky’:- Another guy who just couldn’t stay without teasing me (and a couple of other helpless people) was(is) ‘Pinky’. He got this feminine nickname due to some of the Pink shirts that occupied his wardrobe sometime in the 3^rd year. As usual, even though he’s from the same region as me, I got to know him much after we joined. It was due to some common friends that we started hanging out in the same group. And then, our friends’ circle participated in a Fashion show competition, and it was during the practice sessions of this show that we got chummier. He was paired with a classmate with whom he had hardly ever talked before, and I (and a few others) would keep on teasing him endlessly regarding her. (Maybe that’s why afterwards he took revenge for that .. ). Anyway now, I get news of him from the classmate with whom he was paired…(Hahaha! Guess we weren’t teasing him in vain, after all). Oh btw! Did I mention that once upon a time I had a crush on him, and even though he knew all about it, he forbore to tease me about it until the day we left college and that too in the most un-embarrassing manner possible.

‘Jhandu’:- This girl who was paired with Pinky – That’s her. Well, by a stroke of luck (bad luck for her), she got posted to the same place as me, and now we are room-mates. She’s one a kind – very clear about what she wants with her life and how she’s going to go about it. I know her and yet don’t know her. She’s very open and yet very reserved. Normal everyday things, movies, songs, places, books etc.- and she’s overflowing with thoughts. However, when it comes to her emotions (besides anger), feelings - you’ll never know when she’s hurting or depressed. That’s a part of her that she does not share…Hmmm…maybe time will change that….who knows?

‘Remo’:- She was my virtual roomie for quite some time in the last few months..:) A colleague in office, from the very first day, I felt a connection with her. Anyway that soon developed into a close friendship.. her confiding nature complimented my listening and sympathetic attitude. She always told me about her problems, and I would try helping her in some or the other. Likewise, when I suffered from my intermittent bouts of depression, she’d try her level best to bring me out of my blues. Since she stayed at a Paying Guest accommodation which she didn’t like, I used to invite her over to my place over the weekend, and that’s how she became my virtual roomie. Now, though we we’re in different offices, we still manage to meet up occasionally. Even when we don’t, we’re secure in the knowledge that the other is just a phone call away.

‘Annu’:- Another close friend from office, she was the first person I was acquainted with from our batch. We’d met via Orkut and she’d been the person I’d been in touch with before joining the company. Very practical in approach, she has a different life outside of office, with her friends from college. She’s mastered the art of balancing the two friends’ circles. She’ll not say much, but when she does say something, it will be something very witty..:). Like Remo, we hardly ever meet but still manage to keep in touch via e-mail forwards, phone calls or occasional meet-ups. She’s always ready to help, and on one instance when I was having trouble adjusting in Bangalore, she had un-hesitantly offered me her place to stay in. Always smiling, you’ll never see her get flustered or angry.:)

‘Rats’:- She’s the Crazy + Unique + so much more individual I mentioned in the post ‘A Taste of Belgium’. Now that she’s moved to Delhi, sometimes I feel like emotionally blackmailing her as to why she left us all and got a transfer to Delhi (not that it would help matters). She’s got a fabulous way with words, and now I finally managed to convince her to get out of her inertness and author a blog. She calls up regularly, especially when she misses Bangalore and us. Despite being in a different city, she still manages to find time to try to sort out problems of people here, me included..:) She plans to come to Bangalore once in the near future, lets hope that happens soon..:)

Daffy: This very different and affable guy is a very special friend of mine. Never had I expected to become so close to him. You know why, because I never really believed in the mode of acquaintance through which we met – Internet. It’s pretty ironic that I’ve lost touch with the common friend due to whom I met Daffy. Initially, whenever we met online, we talk about the same inane stuff, ‘how are you’, ‘so what do u do’, ‘ok’, ‘what else’, and we’d forget about the conversations. Somehow, on one fine day, due one of my previously frequent bouts of depression (one and only time when it resulted in something good), we came to talking on the phone. He called up, and somehow we connected. Since then, we’ve never looked back. Shifting to cities, switching jobs never interfered with the warm relationship we shared and still do. We’ve met up, and it wasn’t half as weird as one would have expected. He was the same as he had seemed online and I was glad.. Am still glad to have him as such a good friend..

‘Janvi’:- Another girl who’s unique in her very own way. From the first day in college, we’ve been friends. With time, the friendship grew. Even now, in the midst of busy office schedules, late hours, she always manages to make that quick call, ‘how are you? How’ve you been?’. She’s my agony aunt – for all the past years I’ve known her, she’s been the one person I’ve been telling all my problems with all other people. Non-judgmental by nature, she believes in ‘Live and Let Live’. You’ll never catch her saying un-complimentary stuff about others; as in she always gives people the benefit of doubt. An absolute sweetheart, I’m sure glad that she got transferred to the same place as me.:)

Hmmmmm, at the end, here are some lines I've borrowed...

"See you and me have a better time than most can dream of, better than the best, so we can pull on through, whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done, we'll make the best of what's around."

"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay."

- Dave Matthews Band