Change has evaded me for some unknown reason; I’m the same I was 10 years ago - no evolution, no improvement, no deterioration, no weakening. A non-descript face among millions, sometimes clamouring for attention, sometimes trying to hide in the crowd. Unable to speak out, I used to take solace in penning down my thoughts, now I simply write things I think I would like to share. My thoughts are lost somewhere in my confused mind…..they are too personal to publish online and somehow, somewhere, the concept of personal diaries has died; I no longer have the time or inclination to actually write, using pen and paper. Life has become a series of keyboard shortcuts and high speed typing, staring at a monitor for hours at end.
This is the sum total of the current life of an ex- reserved inarticulate conventional female with no guts to be different, no courage to head in a different direction, no talent to succeed anywhere else.
Yet she hopes, strives, who knows? Maybe the non-entity can finally slam the doors of convention and find it in her to do something she actually likes doing, work towards something she actually believes in, and maybe make a difference somewhere.
She knows it’s a one in a million possibility, considering how things are heading currently, and yet that single strand of possibility doesn’t let go, holding on, hoping to get a stronger hold in her conscience, somewhere in the distant, if not near, future.
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The somewhat morose description below isn't always how i feel. The mood oscillates from one state to another, sometimes finding vent in penning the emotions down somewhere. What's written below is the product of my mind on a rather bleakish dark day.
Most of the times, I’m happy with life as its going...
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And now, lighter shades of me....
Nobody who knows me well would call me sweet, soft spoken, sentimental, or spontaneous…
And they would be completely correct…
Almost.
I’m self conscious, superficially cool, stupidly stubborn, and scathingly sarcastic…
A tad on the crazier side of the planet; just a tad…I’ve been certified a psycho by one of the most renowned consultancy services in India. I’ve been trying to prove them wrong, but somehow, all my efforts have proved fruitless…
I’ve inadvertently developed a dislike to having inane conversations with strangers on the net…..so unless you really think we’ll get along, don’t scrap me.
And by the way, incase there’s my picture on the profile, just remember that looks are deceptive…
Passions:
Music..(The Food of my Life)…
Books ..(The Food for Thought).. I guess by now ur getting tht FOOD is also a major passion in my life :):)
Sports:
All sports are prejudiced against me..its a sad fact of life, that from day 12011, they have all been united in being biased against inactive people like me..
Activities:
Since that fateful day 24 years, when I was rendered lethargic by unknown forces of nature, which have persisted till date, I am helplessly enervated, lazy and inactive almost permanently....
Sometimes, for some temporary glorious moments, when the forces subside into hibernation ...I find the will power in me to meet up with friends, go out, read, occasionally (very) write, movies....
Books:
Friday's Child by Georgette Heyer, If Tomorrow Comes by Sidney Sheldon, Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, The Class by Erich Segal......
Music:
The recent success of Himesh Reshammiya's music has broken all previous rules regarding the importance of melody, lyrics, and voice inflections in the creation of good music. His nasal tones have indeed been an inspiration for all the millions who till now were made to believe to that their voices were not even worth bathroom singing, and who are now lining up for all those
endless talent hunt reality shows..
Since his onslaught on Indian entertainment industry, music tastes have been known to be malleable.. you hate a song the first time you hear it.... the 20th time you get used to his nasal intonations and no longer mind them... the 40th time, you unknowingly hum along... the 60th time, you sing along.... the 80th time, you like the song.. the 100th time onwards, you play the song in a loop on your media player....
Before this recent phenomenon, I was known to like old Hindi songs, soft rock, Bryan Adams, all kinds of assorted stuff....
TV shows:
Not much usually worth watching on TV.. the attention span is exponentially diving towards (-) infinity....ads seem too long..
amongst the plethora of song, dance and saas-bahu scheming, some old shows like The 70's show, Still Standing and other good sitcoms keep the faith in television entertainment still alive..
One realizes the futility of TV, when the cable connection is disconnected for over a week, and the only stuff one misses are the news channels...
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